lost

Know what it's like to be lost?

I'm talking about feeling like you lost your best friend.....

Maybe even worse than that.....like you're knocking on a door and nobody lets you in......

It might even be as bad as feeling like you're watching yourself make all the wrong choices, but yet you can't stop... like nothing will be worth it until you see your life crumble into little pieces.....

I'm pretty sure none of us actively seek out life in this way....

No one actually wishes to be lost.....


Yet, all too often we find ourselves this way.....

We find ourselves searching.....

We're not even quite sure what it is that we're searching for...... but we are certain something is missing.....

Today, I found myself searching.....

I recognize this feeling all too well..... I am looking for something.....I don't know exactly what it is....It's a venture between wanting to scream or do all the things I know I shouldn't do....all the things that are wrong....all the things that society thinks is wrong. .....the things that I think are wrong.....

Sometimes, we find that the things we think we want are all wrong......

Sometimes, we aren't even sure of the exactly what it is that we really want......

Sometimes we just feel stuck.....like life isn't fair,....like somehow we missed out on something.....

I think that's the devil screaming at us.....

We feel like we were passed over....like life didn't give us a fair shot, ...

In actuality, sometimes life really isn't fair.....

We go out searching for all the wrong things....

We try to fill that void with all the things - except the one thing that truly can fill it....

When are we gonna stop and see what's really real?

When are we gonna see that God is truly the only answer?

There was a time I could answer this with no doubt.

A time that I would tell you, without a doubt that God was the one reason I existed. The only reason I survived......

...but life tries to tell me otherwise.....

like maybe I can make it on my own.....

or even maybe that I can make things bearable by covering the pain.....

Yet, in the back of my mind, I remember that feeling of peace...true peace....

The peace that comes from knowing the one Savior and God.....

There is nothing like that peace.

When we humble ourselves and surrender our being to Him we are able to experience that peace....

However, when we keep trying to take control we find that very difficult..... we fool ourselves into thinking that we're in control.....We believe that it's all ok.....

Somehow we try to rely on our own being....

What a foolish choice,...

....because it is then that we are lost.....

jumping from place to place....looking for attention....trying to fill that void in our lives.....

Without Him, we are nothing...;. Without Him we surely fail.....

Only we are too self-absorbed to see this sometimes.....and even at times that we know this, we still turn away in shame.....

He knows our hearts, he knows our pleas, He knows our weaknesses......

I struggle everyday....

I'm ashamed to say I don't pray in the way that I used too....

Yet, I know I am saved and I ask for His forgiveness.....

Any life lived should not be in vanity.,,.....

I watched my daughter live to die.....it should not be in vain....

How much more so do you think God thinks of the life he sent in Christ Jesus to bear our sins and die so that we may have ever lasting life..

Life is not fair.

That doesn't mean we give up.

That doesn't mean we lay down and die.

Jesus did that for us already.