Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans for a hope and a future."

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Butterfly Crackers

Strange title?

Maybe.

Who would think butterfly crackers are something to talk about?

....um, that would be me!



You see, I attended an event last week for my new job. On the menu, butterfly crackers.

Why is that so cool?

If you follow my blog you already know. If not, well let me tell you. Since 2013 butterflies have held special meaning to me.

It was a few months before our sweet baby girl left my arms and crossed over to Jesus. It was an especially hard day. Stevie and I were fighting to come to terms with the fact that all signs were pointing to Zeta not being with us much longer. We were fighting to let go. On that day....as I walked outside...crying...begging, and questioning God about all the decisions and circumstances we were dealing with...I saw 2 of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen in my life! They seemed to dance right in front of me....intertwining....a spectacular show for my eyes alone. I knew then it was a sign....a sign to comfort my breaking heart...a sign that God's grace and mercy would cover my pain. The next day, we met with the team from Hospice Care of South Carolina. The nurse seated across from me at my dining room table was wearing butterfly scrubs. All of that is just the beginning. So many times after that, butterflies would visit us. Butterflies are a sign of freedom, resurrection, and hope. For me, butterflies became "Zeta's sign."

So, it shouldn't really be a big deal that I notice butterflies a lot now....

....except that it is.

It had been a very long while since butterflies repeatedly appeared for me....

Now, it seems to be happening a lot again.

My 2nd or 3rd week with Hospice Care of South Carolina, I was invited to ride with one of our Chaplains. When I got in her car, I noticed a butterfly ornament on her bag. On the ride to our patient's house we discussed the special significance of what butterflies meant to each of us. (By the way, she uses butterflies with a lot of her bereavement groups.) I was a little nervous about the visit we were going on. There was some concern that the family felt "the time" was close. I wasn't sure how I would handle my first up-close situation while working in an "official position" with hospice. I have a history of being able to "keep it together" in tough times....but the question still always dances in my mind, "Can I keep it together when the pain is so familiar?"

I was mesmerized when we entered the house.....the walls were covered in butterfly wallpaper!......I'm pretty sure there isn't much more to say about that. There was a lot of love and peace in that house, and I'm very thankful I was able to witness a small part of it.

Yesterday, I talked briefly to a lady with a beautiful butterfly pin on her badge. She told me about the loss of her mom and how hospice was such a blessing for her family.

Today, I'm praying for someone who also lost her sweet girl.....her latest tattoo....just take a look....


so, butterflies are pretty special to her too....

I'm convinced nothing is coincidental....sometimes, it just takes us being a little more assertive....sometimes we have lots of questions.....and sometimes the answers are as simple as butterfly crackers <3

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