I CAN

So it finally happened. I knew it would. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now.

I had a little minor (ok a great big uncontrollable) crying jag in front of a class.
I went to bed the night before in an unhappy state of mind. I woke up that morning saying, I don’t want to go to school. I just want to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself today. The whole time I was getting ready I kept saying, I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. I really don’t want to deal with life today. I just can’t!
I despise the words ‘I can’t’.

They are just two little words with a heck of a lot of impact. Two little words that quickly brain wash you into believing they are true.

Anyway, I got to school in not the happiest of moods. When my first class of the day came in at 9:15 I did not bother to get up from behind my desk nor hardly look up from the work I was doing on the computer. One of my students joked that he didn’t have his homework. I just looked at him with a lifeless expression………………..these are not my common habits – I just didn’t want to deal with it. We proceeded with our lesson. As I was writing on the board I attempted to take half away from 4……………I tried 3 times without success and finally became so frustrated that I felt the tears coming….. Why in the world could I not do this very elementary math?

Simply, because I told myself all morning – I CAN’T…….

So, it came true. I couldn’t do much of anything.

I apologized to my students and then one of them asked what was wrong. Well, the floodgates opened. I mumbled something to the kids and quickly ran straight to the office to get someone to take care of my class while I composed myself.

Every time I thought I was done the sobs would come, uncontrollably, again.

After about 5 minutes I was able to compose myself and went back to class.

I was able to use a real-life moment as a lesson for my students. I constantly tell them that “I can’t” is not allowed in my classroom. I explained my dilemma to them and told them of how I had continually told myself that morning -“ I Can’t” -and that that was exactly what happened. I had not been able to do even a simple math computation.

Later that day I had 2 guidance classes. I used myself as the perfect example of “I can’t.”

I have no doubt that a large part of how we use our God-given abilities depends on the choice we make each morning to say, “Thank you, Lord, for this day” or “Lord, I can’t do this.” We have a choice each day, each hour, each minute to live life – to love life - and to give the best at EVERY SINGLE THING that we do.

I know I CAN make it through tomorrow because I made it through yesterday. I’ve made it through some of the most difficult things I could have ever imagined for my life.

I CAN DO IT. I WILL DO IT. I AM FOCUSED. I AM STRONG. I AM DETERMINED.

I CAN. I WILL. I AM.