Just slow down and live

Today, as Chancelor and I looked out the den window, I was amazed by all of the birds in our yard.  I began to wonder if we’ve always had so many birds and maybe I had just failed to notice.  It got me to thinking about so many other things that I don’t slow down to notice.  The other day it was drizzling outside.  I opened all the windows and just inhaled the fresh, damp air. I just stood there as Zeta napped. I listened to the sounds, felt the breeze, and took in the smells.  I enjoyed my brief quiet time and thanked God for all of my blessings.  I thought about all of the wonderful things in my life.  I thought about my home, my family and friends, my life.  I thought, “Wow, I’ve truly been blessed.”  There are so many broken lives, broken families, broken souls……yet somehow I’m lucky.  Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been broken………..but my ‘broken’ and the experiences I’ve had have made me who I am and have brought me to this point. In my broken-ness, God has worked.  In my broken-ness, He has healed.  In my broken-ness, I’ve learned to look for the true blessings in life. 

Life is busy.  I think we can all relate to feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day.  In our house we have school, work, ball, therapy, doctors’ visits and the list goes on and on – I bet you have quite a list yourself…...  Life is hard.  I’m constantly second guessing some decisions and praying that we’re making the best ones for our family. ……….but most of all…………Life is beautiful!  To think about the bonds that we share and all of the simple things…….that makes every bit of grief and pain and worry absolutely worth it.  To share a smile, a laugh, a hug……to know that in some way you can make a difference – sometimes (actually a lot of times) just the way that you treat someone can make or break their day (and your own)…….To know that there are times- that yes there ARE times that life can actually be that simple …….to forget everything else and take a child’s hand, wipe a tear, take in the sights and the smells, give a smile or just think about the things that are true and good in your life……that those are the simple things that matter.  What disturbs me is that it has taken me this long to fully embrace this feeling.

Guess what today is?  Today is Zeta’s birthday!  Quite an accomplishment for our little one!  Last year she was in the hospital.  Today we were at the doctor’s office.  She got to spend the morning with one of her most favorite doctorsJ - We had a little party for her yesterday.  A friend of mine tells me that one day we are going to have a huge party fit for a princess – I just don’t think she’s ready for all that- yet…..whether or not she ever gets that kind of party here on earth I don’t know, but I do know that one day I want my whole family to be in Heaven for the greatest party of all…..and just like her party yesterday – we’ll be surrounded by people that love us…..we’ll look back over all we’ve accomplished, all we’ve endured, and even all in which we’ve failed…..but we’ll look back at it without regret because we will be home and safe and we’ll see and know and understand the simple things and the plans that He had for our lives.  My prayer for now is that God protects my family and loved ones and that He continues to tug at each of us to keep open hearts and search for the peace and understanding that comes from true and unconditional love.

PS - I have a video collage of Zeta's 2nd year I've been trying to post, but I'm having some technical difficulty :(  Hopefully, I'll have it up soon!