Unexpected Blessings

The house is quiet and I am too excited to sleep.

I'm thinking about all of the things that have happened this past week and all of the people that have directly (and indirectly) played a part to bring us to where we are today.

This is Zeta on one of the scariest days of my life.  It is hard for me to look at this picture without crying - not because of the medical equipment...for most of her life she has been hooked to some type of machine(s) and I've probably honestly lost count of the times she has been intubated....or blue....or sedated for days or weeks on end....but this picture.....this picture really signifies to me all that this little girl has overcome.  I vividly remember this day.  It was not the first, but the second time that I was TERRIFIED of losing her and absolutely HELPLESS as to how to help her.  It's unnerving how specific sounds, smells, and dates stick out in your mind.....and frightening how a picture can stir up so much emotion.

I thought of this day because I realize how far we have come.  I realize how much we have to be thankful for.

This is Zeta.  Yesterday.  Not quite 2 weeks after surgery to remove a hypothalamic hamartoma from her brain.  Zeta sat unsupported (after I steadied her) for several minutes.  She has not ever sat for more than twenty seconds - and she has not sat alone at all for several months.  It was a skill that we saw briefly emerge and then totally disappear. 

This is why I thought of that day.

Because now, Chancelor can teach his baby sister how to smile for the camera.

He can fix her bow.

And I guess Steven can teach her to make funny faces!

I thought of that day because for the past 12 days I haven't seen her eyes twitching under her eyelids as she tries to sleep, and I don't see her body jerking in spasms.  Her eyes are brighter and seem more clear when she is awake, her smiles seem real - she isn't doing the funny thing that made me cringe and made other people think she was playing and laughing (the gelastic seizures).

 

I thought of that day because I hope we are NEVER in that situation again.  I wish that NO ONE ever had to face a situation like that.  I thought of that day because we've had the opportunity to experience BRIGHTER days. I thought of that day because I am grateful for all the many people who have helped us come this far.  I am thankful for those that helped me through our pregnancy and let me confide my doubts and fears.  I am thankful for the doctors that monitored Zeta constantly and made sure she arrived in this world safely.  I am thankful for the doctors, nurses, and staff at University Hospital and MCG that forever left imprints on our hearts.  I'm thankful for the doctors, nurses, and staff at MUSC who have continued to help unfold all the mysteries that Zeta beholds. and I'm thankful for her pediatrician and all the emergency workers, and medics that have helped us in the past.  I am grateful for the surgeons, doctors, and staff at PCH and what they have done for Zeta in the short amount of time we were there, and I'm thankful for Medical Flight Services and all they did to ensure we made it to and from Phoenix quickly, safely, and without extra burden.  I am most thankful for friends and family, and new friends that we have made.  I am especially thankful for my parents. I am thankful for the complete strangers that send prayers for our family.  I am thankful that our family has been used as an example to show others Christ's love and healing power.

I always kind of had the thought in the back of my mind that you have to be PERFECT to serve a PERFECT God the way that you're supposed to.  Over the past 16 months I have found that is absolutely NOT true.  We all have our hang-ups and we all do things that cause others to judge us.....but that should not stop us from striving to be what God wants us to be.  I know there are times that I can be judged to be as 'unholy' as the atheist down the street- (and of course, I don't always write about all my many, mini-meltdowns), but I also know that I've been promised forgiveness.  We shouldn't sit and judge each other.  We should love and encourage each other.  That is probably one of the biggest things I've gained this year....and it has all been through the kindness of others. I'd like to think it has made me a better person, but  we are not any stronger than anyone else going through a difficult time - God is the ONE working THROUGH our family to share His GREATNESS!

Dr. Jerome Groopman says, "Hope can arrive only when you recognize that there are real options and that you have genuine choices.  Hope can flourish only when you believe that what you can do can make a difference, that your actions can bring a future different from the present."  

 

Do you know your choices?

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

Jeremiah 29:11 - 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'